When the Heaviness is real: How to create a life of joy rather than carrying the weight of Clutter

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The weight of life has been intense and overwhelming, lately.  Most days, I am surviving to get through the day of children, school, work, self-care, and sleep.  My self-talk tends to say, “Kate, you are such an 80 percenter today, or some days, a 50 percenter.” And isn’t that a cop-out, like “let me just protect myself from vulnerability, to avoid disappointment”? I joke with others because I just always feel that on any given day, I celebrate the 50% of me that is actually feeling good or moving in the positive direction. The truth is that I am living and giving 100%. I just never give myself credit for it.

I am a coach, a motivator, a teacher, and a lover by nature.   With others, the positive mantras come easy.  But, when I take a moment to look inside, I allow my own self, at times, to be controlled by the self-doubt that creeps in to my mind.  Am I doing enough?  Have I been a good (fill in the blank with wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, in-law, woman, and person) today?

Recently, I have been struggling.  I have an almost 5 year old and an almost 1 year old at home, I just recently stopped breast feeding, my hormones are WHACK, I suffer from generalized anxiety and seasonal depression,  and I am paralyzed at times by the “what ifs” in life.

With that said, I have worked hard to rewire my life in a way that has made these harder moments, lighter, easier, more palatable.  I have learned to remove the “weight” of life.

It’s about the weight we carry.  It’s about the things we let control us.  It’s about the clutter.

So, here is where it gets good.  There is a way, for us all.

Start a morning mantra (thank you, Trish Blackwell!). Wake up with a purpose.  If I don’t start the day with something positive, my mind takes the wheel.  Today, my mantra was provided to me by the best life coach on earth, Trish Blackwell (trishblackwell.com), “I choose peace, not pressure”.  Because I have repeated this mantra today, over and over, it is 9:33 AM, 72 days into the new year and I am FINALLY writing my first blog post of 2019.  It is a “champagne moment” for me.  Morning mantras are more energizing and do more for your mind, body, and soul than that celebrated Cup ‘o Joe (yes, I said it, something is more effective than caffeine)

Choose to make this season the season of NO. Pull the draw bridges up, lower the gates, and proceed with caution towards all things that are not going to bring you joy, happiness, peace, and most of all, fulfillment.  WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR IT!

Instead, choose life.  Choose to open up your calendar, your to-do list, your mind for moments to enter.  The past two years have been some of my toughest years.  I was chasing a career, struggling with an incredibly difficult pregnancy, living with a low-functioning kidney that spit out kidney stones like a PEZ dispenser, keeping up with a 4 year old, and, oh ya – trying to breathe, sleep and eat.  Trying to be everything to everyone left me exhausted, sick, and unhappy.  I over-scheduled our calendar with trips that only people without kids (never mind a newborn) would agree to go on, and I was over it.

I decided that 2019 was going to be my SEASON OF NO!  I have been the world’s worst at saying NO, so this has been a true stretch for me.  But, when I tell you that I have never felt more free, enjoyed more moments, had less stress, loved my own home more than I do now, I am not joking.

The decision has allowed me to:

Find balance. I was able to find a career that opens up my time to be a mom and a wife and a healthy woman.

Simplify my life. I have had time to truly minimize my things and get rid of the material things weighing me down.

Spend magical moments with my children. I have spent 5 solid days, alone, with my youngest and I have spent an overnight at a ski resort snuggling, reading, and skiing with my oldest.

Invest in myself. I was given a Peloton (onepeloton.com) for Christmas, and I AM OBSESSED!  It has allowed me to sweat again, and do it while watching both of my kids.  The girls LOVE dancing to the music, as I ride.

Be in the moment. I actually see my husband and children, now, for who they are, for how awesome they are, and can enjoy it instead of rushing through it.

Feel empowered. With the ability to JUST SAY NO to things I don’t want to do, to things that make me anxious, and to things that just aren’t the right fit for me, I feel grounded.

Gain confidence. I know now I can do what I want because I have gained control of my life.

Reduce your stuff– Why organize when you can minimize? If it doesn’t have a place in your heart or home, why do you have it?  So, why don’t we free ourselves of our physical clutter and GET RID OF IT!  I have minimized my house (and I can probably do it 10 more times) and still not get everything I don’t need out of it.

What are you holding onto because you feel like you “should?”  Start now!

If you are ready to let go of physical heaviness in your home, let’s chat. I am passionate about helping simplify the minimizing and organizing process to help you feel on top of what matters most to you.  Visit me at www.joyfullivingspaces.com for support, consulting, organizing or just joining in on my blog fun!

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